Mum's laws
 Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't..
 A mother's love is a better cure than chicken soup, but chicken soup is cheaper.
 Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.
 Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won't know either, but she will fake it.
 Maternal instinct is stronger than any force known except an IRS collection agent.
 The more you try to stay on your mother's good side the harder it will be to figure out which side this is.
Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
All mother's have a "How To" manual. That's because they wrote the book.
 The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.
 If you can't remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn't.
 The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.
 If you forget, mom will remind you of all your mistakes so you don't repeat them.
 Anything you do can be criticized by your mother - even doing nothing.
 Never criticize your mother's cooking if you expect to get any more of it.
 You can't "out mother" your mother. Don't even try.

imageBack and smile